How Captain Curfew Stole Christmas
by rough-water
Summary: Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas: Anubis Style! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all! Disclaimer: I do not own House of Anubis or How The Grinch Stole Christmas.


**How Captain Curfew Stole Christmas**

Every student, down in Anubis House, liked Christmas a lot...  
But Captain Curfew, who took care of Anubis House, Did _NOT_!

He hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!  
The students ask why, but no one knows quite the reason.  
It could be that he studies Egyptian myths all night.  
It could be, perhaps, that his trench coat is too tight.  
But I think that the most likely reason of all,  
May be that his heart is two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his studies or his coat,  
He stood there on Christmas Eve, atop the stairs where he wrote.  
Staring down from his office with a sour, aging frown,  
He saw the warm lighted smiles below at Alfie, the clown.  
But two were missing, and even he had to know  
Eddie and Patricia, now, were busy under the mistletoe.

"And they're saying goodnight," he snarled with a sneer.  
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"  
He mocked, with his wrinkled fingers nervously drumming,  
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"

For tomorrow, all the students would wake up bright and early,  
And run down to the tree, smiles white and pearly.  
They'd rush for their toys, and their presents and stockings.  
The girls would cuddle to the boys, while Jerome stood there mocking.

And with that came Victor's most hated thing, besides when those brats touched his raven's wing.  
More than the lies and smiles and hieroglyphs,  
More than the parties and music and brightly wrapped gifts,  
More than the sweets and laughs and trespassing boys,  
The thing he hated most of all was the noise.

Every Student in Anubis house, the tall and the small,  
Ran to meet in the beautifully decorated front hall.  
They would laugh close together, with Christmas bells ringing.  
And sit 'round the Christmas tree, listening to Fabian and Mara singing.

And the more he thought of this Anubis house tradition  
The more he thought, "I must stop this whole rendition!  
"Why for four years I've put up with it now!  
I _must_ stop Christmas from coming ...but _how_?"

"I know just what to do!" He laughed in his throat.  
And took, from the attic, a Claus hat and a coat.  
He though to himself, "What a rude-and-mean trick!  
With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"

"All I need is a reindeer..."  
The Captain looked around.  
But since his only deer was stuffed, it wouldn't move from the ground.  
Did that stop the old man...? "No!" Rodenmaar simply said,  
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"  
So he called over Let-Down, then he took some thick thread  
And he tied a big antler to the scruffy dog's head.

He loaded some bags  
all dusty and brown,  
And exited the office  
with a hitched-up Let-Down.

Up, Old Vic sped, as they started on down  
Toward the rooms where the students slept without a frown.  
All their doors were shut, an unusual eerie silence filled the air,  
While all they were dreaming sweetly without a care.  
"This is the first stop of all," Old Victor Claus hissed  
As he cracked open the door, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid through the crack, a rather tight squeeze.  
But if Vera could do it, then so could this sleaze.  
He got stuck only once, for a moment or three  
Then he snuck over to the window by KT's small tree.  
The red and green stockings all hung in a row.  
"These stockings," he snickered, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slid and hid, with a grin most unpleasant,  
Around the whole house and he took every present!  
Joy's bunny, Patricia's boots, Willow's Cyprus oil, and Alfie's water gun!  
Mara's Checkerboard, KT's necklace, Jerome's gel, and Fabian's books, all one by one!  
And he stuffed them in bags, oh so tightly,  
Then tiptoed through the hall, not so lightly.

He snuck to the icebox. He took the whole feast!  
He took the Banana pancakes! He took the roast beast!  
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a snake,  
Why, that man of odd jobs even took their last chocolate cake!  
Then he stuffed all the food up to the office with glee.  
"And _now_!" He grinned, "I will take up the tree!"

He grabbed the tree, and started to run  
When he heard a quiet sound come from Mr. Sweet's son.  
He turned around fast, and he saw the sleepy hair,  
That belonged Eddie Miller, trying to sneak up the stairs.  
St. Vick had been caught by the headmaster's son,  
Who'd snuck out of bed to go have a little fun.  
He sent him a stare, while Old Vic said,  
"What do you think you're doing out of bed?"

But, you know, that Miller was so smart, and so slick  
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!  
"Well, I came to get some water, but instead I see,  
You trying to take away our Christmas tree!"

Victor thought for a moment, and soon after lied,  
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.  
So I'm taking it down to my cellar, boy.  
I'll fix it up and bring it back in time for the toys."

His fib fooled the boy, for it was only three in the morning,  
And he was sent back to bed with only a warning.  
But, when Victor looked away, that Weasel ran up the stairs,  
And laughed that Old Vic was so unaware.

The last thing he took, was the log for their fire.  
Then he went up the stairs himself, the wrinkly old liar.  
On their walls he left nothing but creepy paintings and hooks,  
In the bookshelf still sat the old dusty books,  
But left on the table, where the cookies had once been,  
Was only a crumb, to which neither Alfie nor Dexter would dig in.

A quarter past six, is what clock now shown,  
And all the students were still in bed, although, not exactly their own.  
"Chris Crinkle" returned to his office quite silently,  
Closing the shutters and locking the drawers a little too violently.

The Anubis house members had soon after awoken,  
And all their bedroom doors slowly began to open.  
A smile appeared upon Victor's wrinkly face, When he realized the students would soon see the empty space.

He whispered, "Their reaction is a noise that I simply must hear!"  
So he paused and silently put a hand to his ear.  
He did hear a sound rising down below,  
It started rather soft, but then started to grow.

But the sound wasn't _sad_,  
It was happy and glad!  
Not a student down below seemed to be a bit mad!

He stared down at them all, that little crook,  
Then stood up fast and slammed down his book.  
They were not supposed to be happy and glad,  
They were supposed to be sad, and even a little bit mad!

Every student down in Anubis House, the tall and the small,  
Was smiling and laughing without any presents at all!  
"Was it you, or you, that stole Christmas?" They joked.  
Trying to figure out the cause of this hoax.

And Victor, with his loud steps on the stairs,  
Stood puzzling and puzzling, why the students didn't care.  
He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming, it came!  
Somehow Christmas came just the same!  
"It came without ribbons! It came without tags!  
It came without packages, boxes or bags!"

And he puzzled for hours, `till his puzzler was sore.  
Then he thought of something he hadn't before!  
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.  
Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

And what happened then...?  
Well...in legend they say  
That the St. Vick's small heart  
Grew three sizes that day!  
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,  
He whizzed with his bags through the bright morning light.

He carried down all the presents and toys,  
Back to the excited Anubis House girls and boys.  
Willow got her Cyprus oil, and Alfie received his aqua gun,  
Patricia loved her new boots, and Eddie got to have his fun.  
Mara and Fabian got to play chess all day,  
After putting all their new books away.  
Jerome's new hair gel and Joy's new bunny,  
Somehow ended up in the snow, which they did not find funny.

But there was one present left, that Victor didn't take,  
And Trudy brought it out right after the cake.  
The students gave Victor the best gift of all,  
A stuffed hedgehog, that Willow bought at the mall!

* * *

**Merry Christmas!**


End file.
